Dear Board Members:
Recently it has come to my attention that I can no longer properly and keep the company competitive. To reach my true potential, and increase profit margins, I need a Snuggie. Below are listed some of the most pressing concerns.
1. Keep warm: save on energy bills
2. Dress shirts are TOO professional looking. Do we want to look like we are screwing over the customers and keeping big profits?
3. Customers will be impressed by my warm, Snuggie scented handshakes.
4. Cover nacho stains on pants.
5. Avoid any chance of workplace sexual harassment.
If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact me.
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