Note To Self

Take up knitting

Lions and Bears

Imagine this: a lion walks into a den of grizzly bears. The lion is pissed at the bears for parking their car in front of his den. Should the lion just attack the bears, or should he bring over some carnage and have a sit down with the bears about the situation. Nether. Bears don't drive cars.

Other People

I'm curious what would happen if everyone in the world worked together, would the world be a better place, or would we just get tired of each other and just all move on to another planet.

T.G. Cowboy and the Myth of Thanksgiving

It's a little known fact, but T.G. Cowboy was the original Thankgivin' pioneer. Before him, people would celebrate a holiday every November called "Corn Day". Corn Day mainly consisted of people sitting around a fire pit eating corn. The story goes that the Pilgrims sold the Iroquois Indians some bad rye bread. In turn, the Iroquois gave the Pilgrims some "Indian" corn, but from last season. Anyway, being that the pilgrims were out of rye bread, they had to eat the old corn. And because it was November, it was cold, and the best place to heat the corn, and stay warm, was around the old Pilgrim fire pit.

So anyway, T.G. Cowboy always hatted that story. Mostly because he hatted corn. So being the seasoned story teller that he was, he began telling about the Pioneers and the Indians getting together every November to have a giant feast. They would all bring delicious food, and would give thanks for all good things that had happened over the season. They would eat a fresh turkey that was caught and prepared by the old turkey wrangler who lived next to the blacksmith shop. Because the blacksmith always had a fire going, he would take the plucked turkey over to the shoppe and cook it for a few hours or so. He would also cook some pies made by his wife, Marie Calendar.

So remember this year when Thanksgiving comes around, the great man T.G. Cowboy. Also, remember that old corn doesn't taste that good.

Knight Rider Haiku

black car going fast

chasing down the drug dealer

hit the turbo boost

Batman Standards

I think it is good to try and live up to same standards of Batman

1. Batman doesn't kill
2. Batman does what he does, and he does it very well
3. Batman is super smart
4. Batman doesn't use the term "that's bizarre"
5. Batman has no super powers, but he can still beat Superman
6. Batman studies his enemies so that he can anticipate their moves
7. Batman is Batman

Robotic Friendship

Do you think that R2D2 and WALL-E would get along?

Can robots do any dance other than The Robot?

What powers the Terminator robots? Rage?

That's Bizarre

Bizarre: strikingly out of the ordinary

Common: occurring or appearing frequently

Are your actions "bizzare" if they happen a couple of times a day? Instead of refering to them as "bizarre", why not call them "common". Then you won't have to act puzzled every single time this happens.

Slice of Wisdom

If you have to repeatidly learn how to fix the same problems over and over, you really aren't learning.

Just think, what would Rambo do? He would take charge and get things done.

Wizard

After finally watching Juno, I have come to the realization that I should start using the word "Wizard" to express when something is awesome.

So the next time you hear "That is a wizard blog" there is only a 50% chance that there a picture of Ian McKellen somewhere.

The Hand of God

Reasons why the iPod Touch is just awesome:

-Check my Yahoo! email super fast, without adds, with BS entertainment news.

-Cleanest email box ever.

-Map your way to the rodeo, and then just follow the directions.

-Hey, check out the pictures of my dog rescuing a monkey from a well. Do you need me to zoom in?

-What temp is it outside? Oh, wait, let me check my iPod.

-View the internet, but very tiny.

-Set an alarm, from your iPod

-Time your tea

-Watch clips of "Breakin" on YouTube

-Let me "tap" you into my calendar

-Calculate tips like you were freakin' Rainman

-Loose a large chunk of your paycheck paying for the thing

-And of course, listen to music

Professional Opinions

It probably isn't wise to trust the professional opinion of people who routinley wear sneakers and tshirts to the office.

Just sayin, if you got a shirt with at least a collar, your stock goes up in my book. But then again, any idiot can put a shirt on with a collar.

Evil Tacos

Don't eat evil tacos or you become evil yourself. Kinda like a vampire or a zombie, once they get you, you become one of them.

Islands of Thought

Lost in the sea of thought, you come upon islands of ideas. These islands have rich volcanic soil, lush vegetation, and plenty caves to explore. But once you land on the island, as awesome at it is, you are stuck there because there are sharks swiming around the island, and your boat has a hole in it. Plus you don't know where you are. You have a great idea, but you can't get it anywhere.

Gilligan is also with you. So any excape attempt you make, he goofs it up. But eventually he is the one that saves everyone, so its all good in the end.

My point? Make sure you bring anti shark aerosol with you, just like Adam West used in Batman, The Movie.

Spider-Lizard

Wouldn't it be cool if a lizard was bitten by a radioactive spider, and then became SpiderLizard? I mean, he would look like a lizard, but could walk on walls and stuff, maybe shoot webs.

But he would never fight crime, because lizards don't have a concept of crime. He would just look cool.

Relevant Information

It's the information age. Information is everywhere. It's becoming more streamlined, more stylized, and easier to understand. Humanity as a whole is improving.

So why are so many people still dumb asses?

I'm just saying.

Old Klingon Proverb

There is an old Klingon Proverb:
"Today is a good day to die."

I actually think this is a great line. Sure I'm not going to a hand to hand battle with some alien. But sometimes in life you gotta fight hand to hand. All you can do is give it your best. And if you die, you are ready to die.

Whatever is in the next life, you can be sure you were ready. Have no regrets.

Qapla'

First Euros, then idol worshiping

There was a news story that Euros are starting to be accepted in some New York City stores.

It's started. First this, movement toward one world currency. Then why not just consolidate our governments together. One world government?!? Sign me up for the ID Card and chip implant. I hope my mark is a prime number.

If Jack V doesn't let us know about this, I don't think we have any hope. Endtimes being here and all.

Top 5 People in the History of the World:
1. Jesus
2. Jack Bowwer
3. Jack V
4. Thomas Jefferson
5. Voice of Bugs Bunny

and scene...

Sneak Preview of Upcoming Blog

So I get most of my news from Yahoo!, so I'm not the most informed source.

But what gets me is almost all of the news stories that would be considered stories, are always reported before they even happen. Example: I can read a complete overview of Bush's last state of the union address, and he hasn't even given it yet. Why even watch? Why even read about it tomorrow? Tonight even? Example 2: Kennedy endorces Obama. Interesting news, but oh wait, we'll report it before it even happens. Then when it does happen, why report it, we just did that. That just happened.

So are we so impatient that we can't even wait for the news to happen before we make or desicsions on what is going to happen? I mean why actually do something if people can just report that you are going to do it. No one will notice that you actually didn't do it.

Rumors are one thing, speculation, sure, go with it. But when the reporters get the info before hand and then can't wait half a day to report, come on.

Why have elections? Just take the results from the exit polls. Better yet, just take the public opinion poll and use those results. What do the rest of the people know that these "random" 800 people don't know?

Why even give a speach, just give a hand out and say "this is what I was going to say".

I'm jsut saying, give a short blog on what might happen that day, and then publish your article about what happened after what happened happened.

Who cares, I'll probably get hit by a car anyway.

Ghost Ninja

Has anyone every thought to make a movie called "Ghost Ninja"? The plot is pretty simple: a deadly ninja and his clan are wrongfully killed. The ninja becomes a ghost and must enact revenge on the people that killed him.

Pretty simple, a mix between Ghost Dog and and Ghost. Plus the ninja would be uber invincible.

Get Rza to do the soundtrack and you have yourself an Oscar worthy film.